Life can be tricky. It likes to throw you a curve ball every now and then. What I have learned from this is that is it a blessing rather than a curse. Instead of thinking “why me?” I have changed it to “Yes me!” Life tends to give you what you can handle, and if you think you can not handle it, this is why life has thrown something your way. Living is learning; learning about yourself.
And so here I am, in full force starting a new job, volunteering, adjusting to a new routine and all of a sudden I catch the ball. A curve is thrown in my path that not only tests my patience, but also forces me to confront my anxieties, remain calm and develop a plan of action. Being alone and dealing with a huge rush of things has been the hardest for me. I tend to get very overwhelmed and have been noted to have anxiety attacks. During this major transition, life decided to give me one big push to help me grow and learn to handle situations in a calm manner. It has also shown me that I have resources and people around me to help support. But mostly it threw me this curve ball to teach me that I can handle anything on my own. I am strong and smart and this is why I now say “yes me!” because I need that reminder every now and then.
So what happened you may be asking? To some it may not seem too overwhelming but to me, having my partner away, starting everything new and adjusting to a busier schedule, it was very hard to deal with. The apartment began to fall apart. Let me rephrase that, it is still falling apart. I am having constant water leaks, mold has developed in the bathroom and to top it all off…. Bed bugs! Yes you read that correctly. One of my greatest fears of moving to the city came true. If you have never experienced this, count the blessings because it has been the biggest hassle of my life and most expensive to date. Not only did I have to wash everything multiple times, pack it all away in zip lock bags and leave the premises on a few occasions to get sprayed, this fear of them returning will never go away. We will also now have to start from scratch, bare minimum when we move. The bed, couch and any other furniture we will not be bringing. I had to go through and toss a lot of stuff, say goodbye to my treasure chest filled with memories, goodbye to books and art supplies that were left out and see ya later pictures and nick knacks where the little suckers can hide.
All of these issues came at once and I had a mini melt down. No one to help clean, working new hours and trying to run to volunteer meetings, all became so much. Having to get rid of things we spent so much money on and some that held sentimental value was hard as well. But guess what, I survived! And I learned.
So whats next? Well my time in the city has now been cut short. Instead of waiting to move when my fiance finishes training, I have put in our notice and will be moving a few months earlier. To where? Back to my parents house; the dreadful return that no one in their late 20s want to do. However, instead of seeing it as a defeat, I see it as a blessing.
Blessing #1: I got to rid my self of excessive purchases and realize the value of living simple. As consumers we are bombarded with the idea that we need things. We do not. I have cleaned out our possessions and in turn, helped to clean out the clutter of our lives. This will allow us to start new and make room for better things to come!
Blessing #2: I get to spend some well needed time with family and friends before we are off. Once we go, we have no idea when we will be able to see anyone again, could be months or even years. My parents are ageing, their health not getting any better, and my friends are all growing and starting lives out and about, so this is the time to rejoice in their company.
Blessing #3: This is the most important one. I have developed ways to control my anxieties and handle overwhelming situations. Life threw me this curve ball so that I could do this. I needed this. My fiance and I are about to embark on a journey and there will be many obstacles that will arise. Therefore, being able to tackle this one, was a test. And I passed. I am now more prepared for what may come my way in the future.
So long story short, the journey continues. And as it continues I am slowly coming into my own. I am experiencing many things and learning to look at everything with a positive twist. Like I had mentioned at the beginning, life is about learning and each learning session I believe is there to prepare you for the next step in life. So instead of asking “why me?” think “yes me” because you are being moulded by these experiences to help you succeed in what lies ahead.